MAT PITHI GUYONAN SUROBOYO.

MAT PITHI GUYONAN SUROBOYO.

10-06-2010
MAT PITHI GUYONAN SUROBOYO.
Mat Pithi pancen bethike gak ketulungan.

Masih bapakne kaji, Mo-Limo wis dilakoni.

Korak, balon, germo, tukang parkir sak Kermil kenal kabeh karo arek Dinoyo Gang Limo iki.

Tapi sejak Suharto nggelundung, kelakuane rodok apik.
Mat Pithi gak tau ugal-ugalan maneh.
Lek ditakoni koncone, “Mat raimu sik mbalonan tah ?”.
“Mathek ketubruk montor, tanganku kithing aku wis tobat cuuk…!”, Mat Pithi ngotot.

Modele morale arek iki melu reformasi pisan.
Saiki kesibukane Mat Pithi meguron nang Kaji Kholil, guru ngaji soko Ampel.
Segala ilmu disinaui.
Mulai ilmu kebal sampe ilmu gendhing wedhokan wis dikuasani.

Jangkep limang wulan meguru, Mat Pithi diwekasi gurune “Mat…, ilmu sing mbok sinaui wis jangkep. Tapi lek koen kepingin ningkatno mane, koen topo wae ning Gunung Batok.”.

Ngeroso ilmune sik kurang, Mat Pithi berangkat topo ning Gunung Batok.
Arek iki bener-bener nuekat.
Deweke topo terus gak atik turu nang guwo gumbul karo jerangkong, sundel bolong, tuyul, wis pokoke sembarang kalir.

Pas dino ke-pitu, dalu pisan, ono wong tuwo muncul ning guwo mau iku.
Wong tuwo iki langsung wae ngomong “Mat..mat..! , gak ono wong sing sanggup topo koyok koen ning guwo iki”.

Mat Pithi cuek wae karo nguyu nang jero ati (gendeng arek iki…).

“Wis koen lungo wae…”, si Mbah rodhok nyentak.
Gak kalah banter Mat Pithi njawab “Mooh…!”.
“lho ojo ngonoo..rek. ..!”, si Mbah mulai kalem kalah gertak..
“Aku gelem ninggalno guwo iki tapi ono sarate… , kabeh penjalukanku kudu mbok kabulno”, Mat Pithi negesno.

Gak atik mikir dowo-dowo, si Mbah langsung ngomong “wis ngene wae, koen iso njaluk opo wae tak kabulno, tapi mek ping telu thok“.

Karo mikir gak sepiro suwih, Mat Pithi njawab “O.K…!”
“Mbah.., rupoku iki lak gak sepiro elek, eeh….! gak sepiro ganteng, aku kepingin duwe rupo koyok bintang pilem Bary Prima bekas bojone Eva Arnaz”, Mat Pithi njaluk.

Si Mbah njawab “Le..le.. saiki koen muleh wae, tekan omah rupomu wis gak koyok meduro mane..!.

Langsung wae Mat Pithi nginclik moleh numpak jaran sewoan.
Tekan omah langsung ngoco.
“Wiik…guanteng men aku saiki rek…!”, Mat Pithi kaget ndelok dapurane gak koyok biyen mane. Tapi Mat Pithi jik gak puas.

Pikire mosok rai koyok Barry Prima tapi awak koyok Timbul Srimulat.

Sisuk bengine, Mat Pithi balik maneh nang Gunung Batok nemoni Mbak daden-daden iku.
“Mbah..mbah. . , raiku wis guanteng koyok bintang pilemning tipi-tipi iku. Tapi awak-ku jek kuru lan tepos. Dadekno awakku- koyok Barry Prima, ojok mek rai thok”, Mat Pithi nerangno penjalukane sing ke-2.

Komat-kamit diluk si Mbah langsung ngongkon Mat Pithi moleh karo njamin lek awake mesti dadi dempal koyok Barry Prima.

Tekan omah Mat Pithi langsung kocoan.. Ndelok awake sing dadi dempal iku Mat Pithi seneng banget. Pikire cewek sak suroboyo mesti kepincut karo awake. Urung suwih senenge, Mat Pithi moro-moro mecucu wae sak wise metu teko jeding.

Rupane “manuke” gak melu dempal. Gamblese Mat Pithi jik podo karo biyen cilik lan bungkring.

Mat Pithi dadine kepikiran terus.
Njaluk nang Mbah maneh…, eman polahe jatahe wis kari pisan. Tapi timbangane urip duwe manuk sak upit, Mat Pithi nekat ngenthekno jatah penjalukane.

“Mbah..mbah. . mbah…” Mat Pithi jerit-jerit nang guwo Gunung Batok.

Dienteni sampek elek gak muncul-muncul Si Mbah iku.. Tapi persis sepuluh menit sak gurungi magrib, Si Mbah muncul..

“Mat..Mat.., jatah penjalukanmu ojo dientekno. Eman-emanen kanggo mbesuk-mbesuk” Si Mbah nguwei nasehat.

“Mooh..mooh. . .!”, Mat Pithi njawab karo matane rodhok mbrebes mili.

“Mbah tolong Mbah…, awak-ku lan raiku wis persis koyok Barry Prima, tapi “barang”-ku sak umprit koyok slilit” Mat Pithi melas.
“Tolong mbah dadekno “barangku” koyok jaranku sing tak sewo iki”, Mat Pithi tambah melas. Modele arek sing biasa nekat iki “putus asa”.
“Aku isin Mbah…!”, ambek suoro sing rodok serak gara-gara kudu nangis.

Gak tego lan meksake si Mbah akhire ngabulno permintaane Mat Pithi.

“Mat…..sediluk engkas barangmu koyok barange jaranmu iku”.

“Suwun..suwun. .suwun Mbah…, iki sing terakhir koq”,

Mat Pithi girang. Sampek gak sempet pamit, Mat Pithi moleh, plenciiing.. .!. Tapi gurung tekan omah, Mat Pithi mikir, kaget…, moto mbrebes mili…, cangkep mewek…, Mat Pithi nangis karo jerit-jerit

“JUANCUUUK JARANKU WEDHOOK…”.

Mat…., nasibmu elek masio rupamu ganteng, awakmu dempal lek duwe “kimpet” yoo nggilani…hi. .hi…hi.

 

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